Updating Facebook: Some people do it with discretion, while others do so with unbridled, reckless abandon.
During college, I more so fell into the former category. Updating my status several times a week or occasionally adding a photo – or entire album – was the norm.
If the dining hall was serving chicken nuggets, and I was hyped up, you better believe my status was getting an update.
If my dad was blow drying my family’s dog after a bath, of course this warranted a photo update. Duh.
Now, I typically reserve most of my musings for Twitter. For some reason, this social network generates, for me, personally, significantly less pressure. I don’t have to worry about how many “likes” an update will garner. I don’t really concern myself with how many “comments” – or lack thereof – an update generates. And, I take an “unfollow” much less personally than an “unfriend.”
Here’s the a play-by-play of the mental stress I experience when I update my Facebook page:
- My hilarious, thought-provoking, (insert any other word synonymous with the word “awesome” here) status has been typed.
- Allowing myself to feel vulnerable, I apprehensively hit “publish.”
- Forty-five seconds later, I check my phone.
- No likes. Sweat glistens on my forehead. Anxiety sets in.
- I hit “refresh.” My internet connection must be messed up! Clearly. There’s no way a whole 45 seconds could go by and not one person has liked my status. Impossible.
- Seventy-two seconds pass. I receive one “like” notification. Thank God.
- (Insert expletive of choice here)! It was a relative. (It should be noted that for some reason “likes” from relatives hold less weight. You know, because they’re supposed to “like” your updates.) Hey relatives, this doesn’t give you a free pass to not “like” my updates on Facebook, just an FYI.
- (Grab my phone to text my sister). Kels, I know you saw my status. Freaking “like” it already!
- Another minute passes. A random acquaintance who lived in my dorm during my sophomore year of college gives me a “like.” I want to jump through my computer screen and give him or her a hug.
- Two minutes pass. I realize my best friend who always, always likes my Facebook updates hasn’t liked or commented yet. I assume she’s dead – or in a coma.
- I text her.
- She responds.
- (Breathe a sigh of relief). OK. She’s alive. I’ll give her another hour before I harass.
- Thirty seconds pass. Two more relatives give me a “like.” One of them is my grandma. (Please forget everything I mentioned in #8 – except for the part where I encourage relatives to continue “liking” my updates).
- I wonder why I ever update my Facebook page.
Moral of the story: Folks, let’s keep giving each other “likes” and “comments.” Share the love. It makes people happy. It makes me happy. It makes us all feel better about our lives. Just do it.